Lubanga kene

The other day I experienced two raw and opposite emotions back to back. 

As I was going around downtown trying to set up meetings for Bob’s upcoming trip, I realized I was near a salon where one of my “daughters” (I can’t really call her a daughter though considering she’s 3 years younger than me) has been doing vocational training.  I always try to stop and say hi to friends or people I know whenever I can, because it really means a lot to them.  One of the aunties told me once that when you don’t have visitors, you don’t feel loved, but when people come to see you, you know you are loved!  So I always try my best to make time to see people when I’m in their area. 

Anyways, I walked into the small salon and Sarah (not her real name) saw me and ran over to greet me and we sat and talked for a while.  The home she stays at is a home myself and others have befriended and supported in any way we can.  The ladies in the home decided it was time to resettle some of the girls, the ones best capable of making it either on their own or with their families.  The resettlement day when they are leaving is today.  As we talked I knew Sarah was depressed and not excited about leaving.  At one point she leaned in and just started crying into my shoulder.  I did my best to hug and comfort her, but I didn’t know what to say.  Here was a girl who came from the streets, was brought into the home and had her life completely turned around.  Now she has to go back out on her own.  Her life will be difficult, she’ll no longer have the support of her sisters or “mommy” in the home, and she’s realizing it.  She has to support herself now.  Obviously the organization is going to help her get started, but her life will never be the same as it has been for the last 3 years. 

I say all this in full support of the resettlement, without it people like Sarah will be dependent on an organization for the rest of their lives.  Sarah is at a point where she is mature enough to not be in the home anymore… its just sad for her to leave and sad to see her go.  After doing my best to cheer her up, I talked about what she had to look forward to and how happy she should be to have been blessed with living in the home.  I left sad to know I wouldn’t be seeing her much anymore, sad for her, knowing life would be much more difficult in the weeks to come, but trusting that God was watching over her and knowing things would work out.

After leaving there I went to the remand home to meet with the wardens.  They had been telling me they had more kids who needed help so I wanted to find out more information.  The main problem was the only girl they had waiting for the High Court.  She had been in the home for 5 months and never brought before the court because her district was really far away and they lacked money to buy fuel to take her.  I asked them to draw up a budget and said I’d get back to them.  Before I left the girl came into the room and I was able to meet her.  She knelt next to us (as is custom) and looked at the ground solemnly.  The warden introduced me and told her we were going to see if we could help get her before a judge and she immediately looked up, bright-eyed and smiling.  She covered her face with her hands to hide her smile as the warden laughed at her reaction and assured her we would do what we could. 

I wiped the corner of my eyes as she left the room with a bit of hop in her step.  I silently prayed that the injustice that had kept her in remand would soon end, and vowed to do my best to help.  I too left with a hop in my step, knowing that that girl was going to sleep tonight a bit more hopeful than the night before.

That night as I thought about my day, I saw how connected the pain and joy I experienced was.  I realized that the deeper the level of sadness or pain, the greater the joy will be.  If I had been sad over a papercut or stubbed toe, then happy over its healing, my joy would not have been as great, I don’t know if I would have praised God about it.  But seeing and feeling their deep sadness and pain makes the optimistic outcome all the more joyful and reason to rejoice.  For Sarah its come full circle, her past circumstances were painful and sad for any human being.  Then she entered the home and has been full of joy, having been transformed… and now sad and painful to leave the new life she has known.  For the young girl in the home, she’s spent the last 5 months with no hope, no real reason to believe she’d ever get out and before a judge… but now she has reason to believe that day is approaching and she has a new hope and joy for her life.  I don’t know why I write all this, I guess it really struck me the other day how connected the valleys and mountains in our life are.

This was forwarded to me, makes me laugh at how true it is…

…driving, you find yourself using your turn signals as means of
communication….’the road is too thin’, ‘don’t overtake (pass me)
there is a BUS coming’, ‘No I’m NOT going to turn here’, ‘traffic police are ahead!’

…you no longer get annoyed when people lie to you and make promises
they can’t possibly keep

…seeing someone speeding towards you in the wrong lane seems completely normal

…Your phone rings and it is a wrong number and you can keep the Hello?
Hello? Hello? Hello’s going back and forth like a tennis match until
eventually the caller realises you are the wrong number and abruptly
hangs up, after spending at least 2 minutes worth of airtime!

…You find yourself pointing with your lips and saying “yes” by raising
both eyebrows.

…You can masterfully employ a variety of “Eh!” and “Eh eh!” noises to
convey a range of meanings

…You know “Come back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.” means whatever you’re
trying to get done is NEVER going to happen

…You start using the words “even” and “ever” in places you never would
have (”Even me, I’m feeling hungry,” or “I have ever done that”)

…You start referring to people as “this one” or “that one”

…You know you’ve what? been in Uganda a long time….when you what?
Start each sentence as a question and proceed to what? Answer it
yourself!

…someone asks you “How is there?” You reply “It is there…

…You willingly drive into oncoming traffic just to avoid the potholes

…A car isn’t full unless it has at least 7 people in it

…you can speak Uganglish so well that - you talk with a Ugandan
accent; use words like ’shocked,’ ‘fearing,’ ‘extend,’ ‘balance,’
‘’somehow,’ ‘even me,’ and ‘can you imagine’ and ‘are you sure?’ far
too often…

…someone “flashes” your phone you just flash them back and wait for
them to flash you back and then you flash them back and then they
flash you back and….

…you keep a jerry can full of water around, just in case…

…you feel exposed without bars on your windows

…When you come back from being out of the country and conversations go as:
Them: “you have been lost!!” and your response: “I have been found!”
Them: “how is there?” and you: “there is fine!”
Them: “you have gone fat!!!” and you are lost for words cause you are
not used to be told so with such frankness!!

…You emphasize how you like something and they say: “Are you sure?”

…you are asked how you are and your response is: “Me I am fine, how are you?”

…you end the conversation with “ok please!”

…your knees ache from squatting over a long drop 4 times a day as a
result of a parasite living in your intestines

…it’s 80 degrees outside and there are people wearing jackets and beanies

…You ask for someone, and you know the answer “He’s within” means
everything from “He’s within the building” to “He’s within the city”
or even “He’s within the country”.

….you refer to others as ‘you people’ and don’t intend to be rude

…you start sentences with ‘As for me, I ….’

…you stop using those little ‘off’ or ‘up’ bits of verbs. You pick
people. And you drop them.

…you get ‘Fine’ as a reply to your ‘hello’.

…’nownow’ means sometime soon, possibly in the next day or two,
whereas ‘now’ means anytime in the next month.

….’moving’ becomes ’shifting’ (but you move with people rather than
hang out with them)

…you stand in a line and feel something is very wrong because it is
orderly and the person behind you respects your personal space…

…”ok” punctuates,modifies, tags and answers almost every sentence.

…”Bambi”, said with that humble look, becomes your standard expression
of sympathy.

…you use the term “just there” to mean on the other side of the city

…”first let me come” or “first wait” makes perfect sense to you

…at the end of a meeting, people say, “Ok Please” as opposed to good
bye or have a nice one.

…your stories always have an “eh?” to make sure the people are listening

…you say SORRY! when someone hurts themselves through no fault of yours

…you call white people “muzungu” and forget that you yourself are white….

…you go to a restaurant and order something off the menu and the
waiter/waitress looks you right in the eye and says “We don’t have
that one”

…walking by a uniformed officer carrying an assault rifle is completely normal

…Clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes.

…You know the man asking for Lose actually refers to Rose.  And when
someone says “let’s play” you should stay seated.

…you don’t get confused even though the person you’re talking to keeps
mixing up ‘he’ and ’she’ in the same sentence talking about the same
person.

…you are reluctant to let go of a new, CLEAN 1000 shilling note.

…your home does not have an address.

…your handshakes last an entire conversation

…next to a public phone at the bottom of the call cost there is a
charge for beeping

…marriage proposals become a normal and almost expected thing from strangers.

…you have time to grab lunch while the bank teller cashes your check.

…you stop noticing how ugly marabou storks actually are

…you think the taxi you’re about to enter is too full but the
conductor will squeeze you in and let you sit where he was sitting but
then he will be standing over you with his bad body odor.

…You have 9 x 10,000UGX bills and you wrap the 10th one around it and
put it in your wallet.

…being given a “push” has nothing to do with “push and shove”, but
being escorted to your car after a visit….

…You lie on the phone that you are about to arrive for a meeting…yet
you’ve not yet left you’re home, forgetting that someone can do the
mathematics and be able to tell that you lied!

…You have constant power supply at your house for a week. It leaves u
thinking Umeme is not doing its work rite. Supplying darkness instead
of light.

…people walk into your house and you say “You are all most welcome!”

…you are making a verbal list and trail off saying “what, what..”

…you start calling inanimate objects “stubborn” when they don’t work well

…you always use your big notes despite the fact that you have the exact change.

…you think “eh” in a high pitch tone is the correct way to respond
when a boda drivers price suggestion is too high.

…umbrellas are not for rain but for the shunshine

Last week I was in DC for the national prayer breakfast. Any words of mine cannot do justice to what this week was like, but I’ll try.

I have been blessed to have a guy like Bob invest in me and encourage me to go to DC for this. I was able to spend most of the beginning of the week with him and a few others, running around meeting people. For Bob it was meeting friends that he already knew, but new friends for me. I met ambassadors, businessmen, politicians and average Joes like me from all over the world, from Sri Lanka to Lebanon to Benin to Kazakhstan and many, many more. What was so great about everyone here attending the prayer breakfast is this: you are instant friends with whoever you meet. The whole spirit surrounding everyone there is indescribable. Virtually every conversation is centered on Jesus. For politicians, politics usually gets thrown out the door. I saw between Bob and these friends a deep friendship, most of which started with Bob just calling them and saying “Hey I’m some dude from San Diego and I want to meet you.” Sounds weird right? But he did it, and now is incredible friends with people from all over. And its not like he’s friends because he wants something out of them, more of the opposite. With every single one of them, he is discussing ways he can help them, not vice versa. And every single one of them he is being an instrument to point them to Jesus. Many of the people I met were Christians, but several were Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or non-believers. But all of them had had some encounter with Jesus or were experiencing Jesus through the likes of Bob and other friends.

One of the cool things too was that once I met someone, if I saw them later in the day or week, it was like we were old friends. Through the friends I met I learned a great deal about other cultures and religions. For example, through some friends from Sri Lanka I got to see, through two different generations’ viewpoints, their thoughts on topics like Muslim extremists and arranged marriages. It was quite funny hearing a girl my age ask her parents, jokingly, how many goats or cows she was worth to them for her dowry. But with religion, both were simply outraged at what is going on and disgusted with the fundamentalists. Both the kids and their parents talked about how hard it has been for them though in the West. They are prejudiced against from both sides, from many Christians for being Muslim and the general clumping of all Muslims into the extreme suicide bombing category… and from extremists (supposedly about 10% of all Muslims) who are attacking everyone. The two my age talked about old high school friends they saw who are now extremists and how weird it was for them.

Anyways, the week was incredible. Obama and Tony Blair spoke at the actual breakfast; both gave really good speeches.

Note that this was not a “Christian” gathering. There were people from all sorts of religions, but the focus of the whole week was to put aside out religious differences and look at Jesus and his life. Every religion can accept Jesus and what he taught. They may not accept that he is truly the way truth and life, but just looking at his life is the beginning of the conversation. You can’t become friends with someone by telling them from the start that they are wrong… I met several people, from different religions, who bumped into Jesus through friends and heard how it had changed their lives. Its just so cool seeing how focusing on something that unites us can transcend our differences and bring peace and reconciliation to people from all over the world.

Go watch it.  This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. It is very entertaining, but tells the story that is true for over millions and millions of people in our world.

I was recently emailed this very interesting article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece 

An athiest wrote it on his observations of aid and missions in Africa.. and comes to a conclusion that Africa needs Jesus more than they need money.  Pretty cool coming from an athiest.

But… having lived there and seeing the brand of “Christianity” that is in Africa, I don’t fully agree.  I obviously agree that everyone needs Jesus, but I don’t agree with the Jesus that is being preached.  Most of the Christianity that is preached and brought over from the West is the prosperity gospel, telling the people that God will bless them if they give… and if they aren’t blessed with wealth than they are doing something wrong.  The most commonly watched TV programs (apart from soccer of course) are televangelists asking for money.  Ask any local Ugandan who has access to a TV and he’ll name off several megapastors from the US, mostly guys I’ve never even heard of.  But I have seen these guys on TV there and it makes me sick… seeing a # on the bottom of the screen to call to donate money so one can be blessed by God.

I’ve heard it said that in Africa if you want to be rich you pursue one of two professions… You become a politician or a pastor.  And the pastors in Uganda at least, are just as corrupt as the next person.  The pastors of the two largest churches are currently in legal trouble.  One of them is being investigated by the FBI for molesting a young girl while in the US this summer.  The other was just arrested (for at least the third time) for stealing cars in Uganda and selling them in the Congo.  This pastor heads a 40,000 member church and in the newspaper said something along the lines of, “Stealing is a sin.  I’ve sinned but God forgives me.  If you are sinning come to Miracle church on Sundays to get saved.”  But this guy has been arrested over three times for stealing cars… I assume because of his wealth he constantly is let go.

While I ultimately agree with the author of this article, I believe the Christianity that is being brought over and being preached is wrong.  The people need something to believe in, and I agree that the Christians are different/happier than the next person in Uganda… but my Jesus didn’t steal or ask the poor for money.

I’m in the middle of the first funeral I can remember.  I honestly cannot remember going to any funeral.  I know I went to some as a little kid, but I have no vivid memories of any. 

My best friend here and head teacher of Restore Academy, Peter, lost his “mzee” Friday night.  He had throat cancer and went to Kampala for surgery on Wednesday, but died Friday night from complications to the surgery (this is no Seattle Grace).  It is really sad, Peter lost his biological father two years ago, and now he’s lost his uncle, who stepped in to take his father’s place as head of the family.  The funeral process here in Uganda is much different than back home.  Saturday they transported the body back up to Gulu.  We drove with Peter and by the time we got to Gulu people had already gathered at his house to help mourn.  Saturday afternoon/night probably 50 or so friends and family had shown up at the family compound to pay their respects and help mourn.  Many of them traveled from pretty far and are staying on the compound, wherever they can find a place to sleep.  This will go on until at least Monday or Tuesday, with the actual burial on Monday.  But this custom of paying respect and helping the family mourn is really cool.  Virtually all family members drop what they are doing and come mourn until after the burial.  Friends come and join them for as long as they are able, many staying the whole time.  Its literally a 3-4 day event.

Wanting to respect this norm, I went and sat at the house for several hours last night.  As tired as I was, it was an amazing experience.  There were about 3 small bonfires with people sitting around talking into the wee hours of the night.  There were a few fires for the women and girls and a fire for the old Acholi men.  I sat with Peter and five Cornerstone OB’s (alumni) nearby and just enjoyed great conversation.  In no particular order, it went from death to life to Jesus to current events to astronomy to Obama to morality to football.  But as I sat there listening I just absorbed my surroundings and what was taking place.

I realized I was in the midst of community.  Someone that each of us around the fire loved was hurting, and we came together to mourn with him and bring him back up.  I take no personal credit for intentionaly doing this, I just knew it was a cultural norm so I wanted to go and sit at the house.  But I realized how great that norm is.  It reminds me of Luke 6:20-26 and what my buddy James has to say here:  http://jamestravels.com/2008/02/blessings-and-woes-2.php.  The Acholi culture says that when one of you is mourning, all of you mourn and together (after the burial) you celebrate and life goes on.  I’m personally getting a first hand experience of how great that is. 

As screwed up as some things are here in Uganda, the sense of family and community is something we all should be envious of. 

Ever heard of a “professional” basketball game getting rained out?  Neither have I.  But that’s exactly what should have happened today.  I’ve been playing with the Gulu Hawks, a team in the Federation of Uganda Basketball Association, or FUBA.  Every game I’ve played thus far has been outdoors on sketchy courts.  There are mini potholes on the courts, one rim might be six inches or a full foot shorter than the other, or the rim is slanted 30 degrees to the side.  This actually describes our court in Gulu to the T.

So today we had a game.  At the start of the game, everyone could tell a storm was brewing.  Lightning was flashing in the distance, the wind was picking up and the sky was growing dark.  Luckily it didn’t start raining until halftime, when it came down in buckets.  There was an abandoned building not too far away from the courts, so players, refs and fans all ran inside to take cover and wait out the storm.  It was actually fun, just joking around with guys from our team and the other team and getting to know some “fans.”

I should mention we do have a loyal support group of fans… that always show up drunk and harass the other team or referees.  Its pretty sad and embarrassing, but they are hilarious when not trying to intimidate others.  Today was no different, they actually brought a case of like 24 beers for the few of them.  They were in a jovial mood today though and our halftime show involved them debating members of the opposing team about Jesus and drunkenness.  It was hilarious and luckily everyone stayed friendly throughout.

Anyways, after about an hour of waiting in this abandoned house, the lightning and torrential downpour had passed, but it was still raining.  People slowly came outside and stood in the rain, then made their way back to the court.  The court literally had to be drained by digging miniature canals to divert water and once the small lakes were cleared the second half began.  In the rain.  The entire second half was played in increasingly harder rain on a very slippery court.  At one point, standing there soaking wet, I literally pinched myself and remember thinking, “Is this a dream?!  Am I really playing “professional” basketball, in Uganda, in the rain, on a court like this?” 

I have to admit, I’m a pretty lucky guy. 

“Eternal life.  Where is it?  When is it?  For a long time I have thought about eternal life as a life after all my birthdays have run out.  For most of my years I have spoken about the eternal life as the “afterlife,” as “life after death.”  But the older I become, the less interest my “afterlife” holds for me.  Worrying not only about tomorrow, next year, and the next decade, but even about the next life seems a false preoccupation.  Wondering how things will be for me after I die seems, for the most part, a distraction.  When my clear goal is the eternal life, that must be reachable now, where I am, because eternal life is life in and with God, and God is where I am here and now.” - Henri Noewen

I heard this quote recently on a podcast and have been turning it over in my head a bit.  I have to say I agree with what Nouwen is saying here.  If you look at Jesus’ teachings and parables when he tells us what the kingdom of heaven is like, he gives us examples in the earthly realm.  Or when people asked him how to inherit eternal life, he spoke of eternal life as being here and now, on earth.  The parable of the Good Samaritan, part of Jesus’ response to the question, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” is a perfect example.

I know personally I can struggle with living “in the here and now.”  Much of the time my thoughts go into the past and I dwell on what I should have said or done in a certain situation or I dream about the “what ifs” of life.  Then I find myself wondering/worrying about the future and what it looks like.  I worry about money, my health, or where I’m going to be in 5 years.  Yet the end of Matthew 6 tells us not to do this.  We’re not to worry about tomorrow and what it brings, but are called to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”  I think my thoughts and actions should be in response to the question what can I do, today, that will bring the kingdom of heaven to earth, today?  Not what can I do today that will benefit the kingdom of heaven when I die.  Or what I can do tomorrow.  Tomorrow has its own worries, lets focus on the here and now.

But maybe I have a plan for the future, and some decision comes up that deciding one way affects that plan, but the other brings eternal life to earth today.  I think I need to choose the latter.  I don’t think planning in and of itself is bad, but I think we need to be fluid in our plans and know that we are to be living our eternal life out daily.  We can’t let our plans, our friends or our possessions get in the way of living our eternal life right now.  That was the case with the rich young ruler.  He had too much stuff that stood in his way.  Although he obeyed the commandments, he had too many things that kept him from following Jesus.  For some people their hindrance may be their “need” to save for retirement.  What about sliding into home at 65, 75 or 85, penniless but truly living and enjoying the ride?  Completely trusting God each step of the way.  I know some people think not planning financially for the future is immature and stupid (I myself used to think this way, but maybe I’m still immature and stupid) but what did the early church do?  They shared everything, some sold land or homes and brought the money to the apostles and it was distributed to anyone as needed.  If this is how the original church operated, how those who walked with and learned from Jesus decided to start, shouldn’t we be doing likewise?  Just recently I’ve seen friends moving in that direction (www.loveisone.org) trying to raise money for their friend in need.  But its happening with young, broke 20-somethings.  What if this started happening with the millionaire and billionaire Christians out there?

Going back to the quote, our desires and dreams shouldn’t be on life after death.  I know it’s going to be great and I will love that day when it comes, but I don’t think that the “afterlife” is the beginning of eternal life.  I think eternal life begins when we are “born again” and we begin to let the Holy Spirit guide our life.  I believe life after death is going to be amazing, but its not what we should be sitting around waiting for.  We shouldn’t just be coping with this earth, dreaming of a better life in heaven and waiting for that magnificent change after we die.  A friend of mine said she thought the biggest, most radical change in our life should be between our life before we started to follow Jesus and our life after.  Life after is the beginning of our eternal life and we have to humble ourselves, admit that we know nothing and begin to learn anew.  When we do this and we live with God in the here and now, we bring heaven to earth.  Jesus said the gates of hell will not overcome the church.  That means the church is storming the gates of hell, not the other way around.  We’re not sitting around building up a protective wall for ourselves and waiting to go to heaven.  We’re on the offensive, storming hell’s gates and bringing the kingdom of heaven to earth!

 

I’ve been reading/listening/thinking about prayer in the last few days.  I have to admit, my prayer life has been a wreck.  It’s usually very routine.  Something like thanking God for the day, saying prayers for family and friends who I’ve told I’d pray for (mentally marking them off like a checklist), maybe asking forgiveness for things, and then asking God for things, to intercede on my behalf or to heal so and so.  I’m sad to say but its felt so… dead.

Realizing the poor state of my conversations with God, I’ve been thinking about the why/what/when/how questions of prayer.  I’ve just begun Philip Yancey’s book Prayer and in the first chapter he begins talking about these questions.  He says, “We pray because we want to thank someone or something for the beauties and glories of life, and also because we feel small and helpless and sometimes afraid.  We pray for forgiveness, for strength, for contact with the One who is, for assurance that we are not alone.”  Now this isn’t some grand statement, but it holds a lot of truth.  We pray when we are thankful, afraid, remorseful, weak and feeling alone.  Yancey then quoted surveys showing that prayer was ranked extremely high on theoretical importance to people, yet ranks incredibly low on surveys of actual satisfaction.  Why is that?  Are we praying for the wrong things or become too structured and intellectual in our prayers?

Tonight I fellowshipped with the youth corps kids with all this on my mind.  I realized about halfway through how “un-into-it” I was as I just stood with the kids clapping my hands (I find my mind easily wanders when every other song is in a different language).  I was there physically praising God, but mentally I was in a million different places.  When the singing turned to slower, more intimate songs I closed my eyes and just listened to their beautiful voices, silently speaking to God.  Midway through the power went out, leaving us in a pitch black room.  But their voices rose and they sang even louder.  Then they started to pray.  Deep, passionate cries out to their Father.  It should be noted they pray out loud, all at once and speak incredibly fast.  I joined in and just let my heart talk to God, my mouth and mind not even knowing what I was saying.  It was… incredibly refreshing.  I felt so close and known by God in those few minutes. 

Then I thought about the kids.  I doubt any of them would say they are dissatisfied with the “quality” of their conversations with God.  Maybe Jesus said the kingdom belongs to ones such as these for a reason.  They don’t have daily devotionals or read the Bible everyday.  But they do sing and talk to God in ways I’m jealous of.  If praying is my means of conversation with God, and I desire to love Him with all my heart, I should be pouring out my heart to Him every day with reckless abandon.  Not marking things off a mental sheet, but wrestling with Him.  Releasing all my fears and struggles, but also humbling myself knowing that His thoughts are not my thoughts.  Giving Him the praise for any and every blessing or woe I have in my life.

Anyways, this is what has been on my mind the last few days.  I thank and praise God for all the amazing things I’ve learned through these kids.  Here’s to many more.