Rubanga kene

Recently, actually it seems like constantly, I’ve been going through a rough patch of life.  Its been one of those defining times in life that breaks you and you can either A) crawl in a hole and try to avoid it, making things worse or B) face it head on and grow from the experience.  The last several months have been one thing after the other of difficulties.  At first I tried to do A.  Crawl in a hole or avoid tackling the problem.  I’ve been put in situations well beyond what my experience or years tell me I should be able to handle.  And truthfully I have not been able to handle it.  I’ve wanted to jump on a plane and leave this world behind, just escape.  I’ve cried out to God angrily asking Him to just smooth things over.  I put on a smiling face and showed the world I was happy and strong, but in reality I was spent inside.  Emotionally, physically, spiritually, I was tired.  I questioned why I was in Uganda and whether what Restore is doing is making any difference.  The needs and problems are so huge, what difference am I really making?  And maybe its not much, I really don’t know.

 

In the end I had no choice but to face the challenges and problems.  To no credit of my own though, it was only through incredible encouragement and support from Restore, family and friends, I’ve been able to persevere and have received Godly guidance in each situation.  Granted all of the problems are not yet sorted out, but I’m trusting in God and am confident things will work out for the best. 

 

But through scripture and advice I was able to face each situation with my head high, knowing that trials and tribulations are only going to strengthen me and Restore as an organization.  James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (emphasis mine)

Pure joy?!  That was definitely not my gut reaction.  A few months ago upon hearing troubling news, I was sick to my stomach, worried about what to do, thinking all was lost.  Definitely not happy or rejoicing.  But through seeking advice I was told to embrace the trial, learn from it and grow from it.  And I tried my best to do just that.  It took me a while, but eventually I started embracing trials when they came and seeking ways to grow from them.  Examine my mistakes or others mistakes and learn.

Recently another huge problem arose, and this time I didn’t flinch.  I took time to pray and seek God and advice from others, but I knew that collectively, with all of Restore seeking Jesus, we were right where we belonged and things would work themselves out.  I commented to Danny, the VP of Restore that had this particular thing happened 3 months ago, I probably would have cried myself to sleep and booked the next ticket out of Uganda to get away for a while.  I almost felt selfish though, that despite this horrible problem we were having, I was getting experience beyond what I ever bargained for and really growing and developing perseverance.

I still have a looong way to go, but slowly I’m learning to embrace problems and situations that seem too big to handle, confident that Jesus is right there with me to catch me if I fall.